dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
