Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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