he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
