I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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