yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
