Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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