Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
