let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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