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It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
barbara walters just said penis...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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