sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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