well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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