Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
