I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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