I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
what is it with giant penises always finding me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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