just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
