dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
