So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
