Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
