Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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