pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're like the curious george of whores
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
