i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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