real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize