it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
