Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
