hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
