Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
