Kiss
Puke
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Found the puke drawer
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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