I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
