who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
