So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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