you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
