so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
