Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The struggles of a small town man whore
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
