Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
