how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
