the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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