dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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