I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
