Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize