Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
