What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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