found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
