I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
