i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
