There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
