I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize