Got a toothbrush?
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
