so explain again why im purple
no
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
