I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
