Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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