The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
