I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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