Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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