it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
dude. I can hear the air.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
