i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Someone came in the potted fern
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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