Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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