I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A bitchslap is in order.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
