kristin has been a bad kristin
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
