in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize