Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
