OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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