My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
