She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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