if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
