please come you make the beer taste better
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
