Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
