she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
