I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
