Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize