I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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