I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize