Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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