Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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