I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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