i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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